Resident for President!
November 2, 2004..... Bush or Kerry = America loses...
Well it's election time once again, and I should be excited for my "sophmore" voting opportunity. Back in 2000 I sat in my dorm, a college freshman, glued to the TV watching Dan Rather call the election for both Bush and Gore at seperate times.. Nice to see he's gotten things straightened out...HA. Anyways, I remember back then thinking, "are these the only two clowns we could dig up to run for president?" I sided with Bush only because I'm registered republican so I figured that was a decent tie breaker. Thanks to vegetables in Florida, my guy took the ticket, and now everyone sees the impact the elderly can have on the country... besides running you off the road and providing a nice inheritence...
So here we are in 2004 AND.... nothing new. Bush again, and John "not bush" Kerry. The founding fathers are doing summer-saults in their respective graves watching these two campaigns. Bush is a puppett with the master not moving his mouth, but talking to his brain through a hidden ear piece and Kerry is the most beneficial thing to be dipped in Heinze Ketchup since french fries. This guy can't stand by anything to the point where he sits every time he pisses. Is America really in such terrible shape that these "creams" can so easily rise to the top?
Let's look at the type of people that put these men in the positions they're in...
KERRY:
Many of the people that support Kerry don't even like him. They just dislike GW more. That's fair, but to elect a guy by default, come on America. Basically every minority supports Kerry because Bush has the racial tact of Jim Crow, though he may get some votes from the mexican population who he has helped assimilate into US citizenship. Kerry is the "common man's" candidate. If by common man you mean a guy who gets botox done to his face, spends $100 every time he gets a haircut, and marries a widow worth $400 million. But people like him because he opposes bush's war in Iraq. Or does he? Who knows, but he disagrees with the way Bush took action so he's getting the vote of everyone who hates violence, but support abortion... hmmm These people also hate paper not being recycled, trees coming down, fossil fuels, meat, big business, and white men.
The homosexual community also supports Kerry because Bush sent gay-marriage ban to congress, even though no politician of any notarity has come out pushing to legalize gay-marriage. If gay people want to get married, LET THEM.. heaven forbid we risk an increase to divorce rates because we know how well us "hetero's" are doing with that.
The big liberal push stems from what I call "the DMB party". This group is the youth of America that gets their politics from musicans like Dave Mathewes. These sad followers pack stadiums to hear a man sing who has no clue anyone is even listening. Sick horses don't ingest as much drugs as this guy, but his "message" is so powerful isn't it kids? DM votes with whatever party is going to increase the hemp distribution, he's got a message alright it's "stand back or Im liable to piss on you in my intoxicated state". DMB fans love this guy like he's the second coming, which he is, the second coming of Ted Kennedy. Ya know, how has no one questioned that this guy comes from South Africa, home of apartheid, has a band who is prodominantly black, (only one other guy in the band is white if I'm not mistaken) but names the band after just himself. We use to have guys like him in this country, they lived below the mason-dixie line and owned "plantations".. Bottom line is, people my age get their politics from album covers and not from research or real life..
BUSH
Bush doesn't have many supporters, but what he lacks in numbers he has in dollars. He may not have a lot of fans, but the ones that do support him write big checks that never bounce. The knock on his professor is that he's a face for a regime with alterior motives. No one knows who's driving the car on this four year trip. The only sign of hope, Colin Powell, can't get out fast enough. I'm one of those republicans who always has said, "well, at least Colin's with him".. well shit, there goes that. He gets ENORMOUS backing from the "Christian Right". Ya know, these are the people that nod and smile when GW says "I prayed about going to war, and prayer has showed me it's the right decision". Really George? I pray for a threesome every night, that doesn't mean I should go into Hollywood and pay a couple of working girls to make it happen. Correct me if I'm wrong, don't the terrorists pray? Doesn't "their god" tell them to bomb us and blow things up? Hmmm, maybe it's about time we called off the crusades. If there is a God, you have to think he sits up there all the time just saying "oh.. no.. they're bringing me into this again... why did I ever have to go and design that Adam fella". The religious ones are also the people who are raised to "turn the other cheek" but then go out and shoot abortion Doctors. But as long as they seek forgiveness I guess the almighty barries the hatchet....
Bush also gets support for the anti-gay community. These people think that to be gay is to be "evil". According to their logic, gays shouldn't be married because it's "not right", or "unnatural". I gotta tell ya, I've seen a lot of hetero married couples, there's something "not right" about most of them. So basically it comes down to Sex, gay sex is sinful... of course, so isn't heterosexual sex, until YOU GET MARRIED. Our seperation between church and state is about the distance between Rosie O'Donell's thighs...
The point is, through all these "issues" the candidates really don't appeal to anyone because they're not everyone. They represent a economical and educational elite that puts them in a minority status. Who should run for President then? I'll tell you who, a neighborhood barber... If you know one, you know these guys talk to everyone, and know everything and anything. They're supportive, compassionate, and never make a move without asking your permission first. We don't trust politicians, but we trust our barber to run a sharp blade along our throat. They don't take sides, they just listen and charge very little to do so (lower taxes). They can take a messy situation and make it dignified, a barber truly would be the PEOPLE'S candidate... I don't know about that striped pole outside the white house though, that's just inviting some domestic vandelsim...
Well it's election time once again, and I should be excited for my "sophmore" voting opportunity. Back in 2000 I sat in my dorm, a college freshman, glued to the TV watching Dan Rather call the election for both Bush and Gore at seperate times.. Nice to see he's gotten things straightened out...HA. Anyways, I remember back then thinking, "are these the only two clowns we could dig up to run for president?" I sided with Bush only because I'm registered republican so I figured that was a decent tie breaker. Thanks to vegetables in Florida, my guy took the ticket, and now everyone sees the impact the elderly can have on the country... besides running you off the road and providing a nice inheritence...
So here we are in 2004 AND.... nothing new. Bush again, and John "not bush" Kerry. The founding fathers are doing summer-saults in their respective graves watching these two campaigns. Bush is a puppett with the master not moving his mouth, but talking to his brain through a hidden ear piece and Kerry is the most beneficial thing to be dipped in Heinze Ketchup since french fries. This guy can't stand by anything to the point where he sits every time he pisses. Is America really in such terrible shape that these "creams" can so easily rise to the top?
Let's look at the type of people that put these men in the positions they're in...
KERRY:
Many of the people that support Kerry don't even like him. They just dislike GW more. That's fair, but to elect a guy by default, come on America. Basically every minority supports Kerry because Bush has the racial tact of Jim Crow, though he may get some votes from the mexican population who he has helped assimilate into US citizenship. Kerry is the "common man's" candidate. If by common man you mean a guy who gets botox done to his face, spends $100 every time he gets a haircut, and marries a widow worth $400 million. But people like him because he opposes bush's war in Iraq. Or does he? Who knows, but he disagrees with the way Bush took action so he's getting the vote of everyone who hates violence, but support abortion... hmmm These people also hate paper not being recycled, trees coming down, fossil fuels, meat, big business, and white men.
The homosexual community also supports Kerry because Bush sent gay-marriage ban to congress, even though no politician of any notarity has come out pushing to legalize gay-marriage. If gay people want to get married, LET THEM.. heaven forbid we risk an increase to divorce rates because we know how well us "hetero's" are doing with that.
The big liberal push stems from what I call "the DMB party". This group is the youth of America that gets their politics from musicans like Dave Mathewes. These sad followers pack stadiums to hear a man sing who has no clue anyone is even listening. Sick horses don't ingest as much drugs as this guy, but his "message" is so powerful isn't it kids? DM votes with whatever party is going to increase the hemp distribution, he's got a message alright it's "stand back or Im liable to piss on you in my intoxicated state". DMB fans love this guy like he's the second coming, which he is, the second coming of Ted Kennedy. Ya know, how has no one questioned that this guy comes from South Africa, home of apartheid, has a band who is prodominantly black, (only one other guy in the band is white if I'm not mistaken) but names the band after just himself. We use to have guys like him in this country, they lived below the mason-dixie line and owned "plantations".. Bottom line is, people my age get their politics from album covers and not from research or real life..
BUSH
Bush doesn't have many supporters, but what he lacks in numbers he has in dollars. He may not have a lot of fans, but the ones that do support him write big checks that never bounce. The knock on his professor is that he's a face for a regime with alterior motives. No one knows who's driving the car on this four year trip. The only sign of hope, Colin Powell, can't get out fast enough. I'm one of those republicans who always has said, "well, at least Colin's with him".. well shit, there goes that. He gets ENORMOUS backing from the "Christian Right". Ya know, these are the people that nod and smile when GW says "I prayed about going to war, and prayer has showed me it's the right decision". Really George? I pray for a threesome every night, that doesn't mean I should go into Hollywood and pay a couple of working girls to make it happen. Correct me if I'm wrong, don't the terrorists pray? Doesn't "their god" tell them to bomb us and blow things up? Hmmm, maybe it's about time we called off the crusades. If there is a God, you have to think he sits up there all the time just saying "oh.. no.. they're bringing me into this again... why did I ever have to go and design that Adam fella". The religious ones are also the people who are raised to "turn the other cheek" but then go out and shoot abortion Doctors. But as long as they seek forgiveness I guess the almighty barries the hatchet....
Bush also gets support for the anti-gay community. These people think that to be gay is to be "evil". According to their logic, gays shouldn't be married because it's "not right", or "unnatural". I gotta tell ya, I've seen a lot of hetero married couples, there's something "not right" about most of them. So basically it comes down to Sex, gay sex is sinful... of course, so isn't heterosexual sex, until YOU GET MARRIED. Our seperation between church and state is about the distance between Rosie O'Donell's thighs...
The point is, through all these "issues" the candidates really don't appeal to anyone because they're not everyone. They represent a economical and educational elite that puts them in a minority status. Who should run for President then? I'll tell you who, a neighborhood barber... If you know one, you know these guys talk to everyone, and know everything and anything. They're supportive, compassionate, and never make a move without asking your permission first. We don't trust politicians, but we trust our barber to run a sharp blade along our throat. They don't take sides, they just listen and charge very little to do so (lower taxes). They can take a messy situation and make it dignified, a barber truly would be the PEOPLE'S candidate... I don't know about that striped pole outside the white house though, that's just inviting some domestic vandelsim...
posted by Keith "the leg" Hannon at 2:56 AM
1 Comments:
Honestly Hannon, you really need to find something better to do with your time. Try getting a real job for starters!!!
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