Turkey Bowl Injury Report (12/24)

2001

Matt Yankowski - no known inuries

Jason Farrell - PROBABLE - nursing a case of "hockey skate toe" after battle on the family pond

Brian Edmunds - PROBABLE - sore wrist from excessive bowling could impact catches

Tom Ceri - no known injuries

Dave Silvanic - QUESTIONABLE - over indulged on "white russians" during family holiday party. Supposedly kept repeating the quote "you make a hell of a caucasion Jackie"..

Cliff Stewart - QUESTIONABLE - has been on suicide watch since the ankle injury to Terrell Owens. Last seen on the top of the NYPENN Trade Center mummbling "I can fly like an Eagle, I can fly like an Eagle"

Jordan Glenn - no known injuries

Jon Ruminski - OUT - didn't graduate in 2001, no matter how hard he tries to make it look like he did


2000

Keith Hannon - PROBABLE - Uncle's rye dip had him hurting on the 24th, but full recovery is expected

Matt Zelesnikar - QUESTIONABLE - hurt foot wrestling with his large brothers, he's day to day

Scott Hall - QUESTIONABLE - working at the airport will show up just in time for kick-off, a ame time decision for the starting line-up

Joe Macarak - QUESTIONABLE - game is on Sunday, Joe will envitably be drunk saturday night, severity of hang-over and reliability of alarm remain unknown

Joe Schieve - QUESTIONABLE - nursing an old ab injury.... in his back, has church on sunday but should have time to get to the field

Cal Heinle - PROBABLE - was seen in Whitney Point with a brace on his elbow from working the butter churn. Cal said it's just percautionary and he'll be fine.

Chris Kudyk - PROBABLE - there is a chance phone calls from random women across the country will keep him occupied from the game, but sources from the team say the cell will be left off during league play

Nate Dickson - QUESTIONABLE - where is he?

Dale Armstrong - OUT - legs consumed themselves

Bill Fortin - OUT - had prior committment to be a stand-in for a structural support beam at the Sears tower in Chicago.